Misbehavior and the art of Submission

Imp
Little Shit
Pain in the ass
Bitch
Obnoxious
*cursing and grumbling*

Hmmm, if I had a nickle for every time I heard that! Ya know what... I don't need a whole nickle, a penny would do. One penny for every time I heard one of those wonderful terms, and I could buy the Taj Mahal!

But why? Isn't the idea of submission to obey, and serve your Master to the best of your ability? Well yes, and no. Why is it that submissives test their Masters? Doing things to deliberately push the boundaries and walk a very fine line between "What a good girl you've been!" and "What the hell? You are such a pain in the ass!"

Why do we do this? I'm not certain why other submissives do it, but I am certain that they do. It's in the nature of a submissive to behave in that manner. Best I can do, is explain this phenomenon from my personal experience.

But first, a disclaimer! Every time I misbehave it is not on purpose! I don't always make mistakes to get a reaction. Sometimes they are just that, mistakes. Sometimes when they are on purpose, they aren't a conscious decision. Now that that is out of the way...

What does poor behavior lead to? It leads to ones Master being rather pissed off, and worse yet, disappointed. Ack, the dreaded word! Disappointment! Of all the horrible things He could say, that is by far the worst. I would take a spanking, being yelled at, or sitting in a corner (which is so not going to happen), before I can handle knowing He's disappointed.

So this misbehavior business... why do it? It's an art form. There is a very small space to fit into between disappointment/anger and frustration. The idea is to keep Him teetering near frustration. The reason.. now that is much harder to explain.

Submissives are odd critters. We have very similar qualities, and yet are so different. One quality I have found that transcends most subs. We like to be reminded of our place. I feel safe knowing that I'm owned. When He uses my favorite word... "Mine". I find that I get slightly needy, and feel lost when I haven't had a reminder in a while. This time can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 days. Really it's whenever my mind has decided it's time. Once this happens, that is when my behavior will slip. Feeling sorry for Him yet?

There are times when I will slip and misbehave on purpose. Poor behavior gets attention, and sometimes faster than good behavior. It's not all about the attention, it's about the type of attention. If I misbehave, and He corrects my behavior, I'm reminded of my place. I again feel secure in my submission and can relax. While it would be nice to be constantly reminded of my submission, that is just unrealistic, and unfair to ask of Him.

Yes, it would be easier to simply ask Him to remind me. But, it wouldn't have the same effect I'm craving. What I crave is to feel His control, and His Domination over me. I want to feel compelled to follow his will, and leave mine. Asking Him for this wouldn't have the same effect. Besides, asking for it, hmmm... what am I asking? Please Dominate me? Somehow I don't think that works out right.

Which leaves me with the misbehavior option. Small things, never anything too big. This is where the art comes in. How to keep Him on the edge of true annoyance, and not let Him fall off. Small things will attract His attention, and usually give you the desired result. He will force you to stop. Even small things, a look, and gesture, a spanking, or even a few soft words. His arsenal is unlimited. Though when used properly will pull me back to where I desire to be, in His control. Because while under his control, there is peace and safety.

When left too long to my own devices, who knows what could happen! Really... and idle sub is nothing but trouble!

Interesting Revelations

1. Submission - The state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

2. Independence - freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

The act of submission is far from simple. In fact, it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done. Comparing past vanilla relationships with BDSM, there are so many benefits, and many new obstacles to overcome.



The appeal of submission. I have had the pleasure of meeting and befriending many submissive women over the years. Most of them are incredibly strong women, they take charge of a situation and are very dominant in their lives. We have opinions, feelings, thoughts, ideals, and dreams. The amount of strength it takes to be a woman these days is astounding. Then take that same strength, compound it by the strength it takes to give up control.

Even with the amazing strength it takes to submit, there are many insecurities that nag at the back of my mind. Of these, I think the most common is being unsure of where I stand. Being submissive is something I have always been, but most of my relationships have been vanilla. So I was not given the opportunity to give in to my submissive tendencies. Now I am able to explore my submission fully. So far it has given me incredible joy, and peace... and doubt.

A Dominant seeks a submissive. A submissive seeks a Dominant. As a submissive I know what I want. I need to submit, I need to be needed, I need to be controlled and cared for. Now this is where the confusion comes into play for me. What is it that a Dominant wants?

I live to submit, to be owned. I will do almost anything that is asked of me. The word no will almost never pass my lips. If He needs me to get Him a drink, then I will. If He needs me to clean, I will. Do dishes, I will. Take pain, submit to sex, be tied up, run to the store, fix my hair, sit quietly... I will.

What exactly is the appeal there? This is my problem. Wouldn't that get old? My insecurity sneaks it's way into my life. Is there such a thing as too much submission? Will He get tired of my constant willingness? Or will that only lead to a stronger relationship? I have no desire to say no, I'm happy to give all that I have. It makes me feel more complete.

Will He tire of me, and my submission? If He tires of me, will He look for other women? Will He look for a woman who is stronger, and more dominant? One that will say no? Or perhaps just a woman this isn't so willing. Maybe He wants more of a challenge.

As a submissive, it would become bothersome to me, if a man were always willing to do everything I wished. It is difficult to see things from any other perspective, because I've never been on any other side. I would bore with him quickly, and look elsewhere for what I really wanted. My fear lies in what I do not know, and have no true way to understand.

Reminder

Hold me, hurt me, pull me, guide me.
Tell me where I should be.
Cast Your gaze upon me,
So that I may remember.
My body, my mind, my heart.
They all belong to You.
Speak to me Your sweet words,
So that I may remember.
Love me, cuddle me, caress me.
Place me where You will have me.
Run Your hands across my body,
So that I may remember.
Teach me, discipline me, spank me.
Give me rules and structure.
Show Your disappointment and Your pride,
So that I may remember.
I give to You all that I am.
My service, my love, my obediance.
I need You, in all ways, to remind me,
That I'll always belong to You.