2. Independence - freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.
The act of submission is far from simple. In fact, it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done. Comparing past vanilla relationships with BDSM, there are so many benefits, and many new obstacles to overcome.
The appeal of submission. I have had the pleasure of meeting and befriending many submissive women over the years. Most of them are incredibly strong women, they take charge of a situation and are very dominant in their lives. We have opinions, feelings, thoughts, ideals, and dreams. The amount of strength it takes to be a woman these days is astounding. Then take that same strength, compound it by the strength it takes to give up control.
Even with the amazing strength it takes to submit, there are many insecurities that nag at the back of my mind. Of these, I think the most common is being unsure of where I stand. Being submissive is something I have always been, but most of my relationships have been vanilla. So I was not given the opportunity to give in to my submissive tendencies. Now I am able to explore my submission fully. So far it has given me incredible joy, and peace... and doubt.
A Dominant seeks a submissive. A submissive seeks a Dominant. As a submissive I know what I want. I need to submit, I need to be needed, I need to be controlled and cared for. Now this is where the confusion comes into play for me. What is it that a Dominant wants?
I live to submit, to be owned. I will do almost anything that is asked of me. The word no will almost never pass my lips. If He needs me to get Him a drink, then I will. If He needs me to clean, I will. Do dishes, I will. Take pain, submit to sex, be tied up, run to the store, fix my hair, sit quietly... I will.
What exactly is the appeal there? This is my problem. Wouldn't that get old? My insecurity sneaks it's way into my life. Is there such a thing as too much submission? Will He get tired of my constant willingness? Or will that only lead to a stronger relationship? I have no desire to say no, I'm happy to give all that I have. It makes me feel more complete.
Will He tire of me, and my submission? If He tires of me, will He look for other women? Will He look for a woman who is stronger, and more dominant? One that will say no? Or perhaps just a woman this isn't so willing. Maybe He wants more of a challenge.
As a submissive, it would become bothersome to me, if a man were always willing to do everything I wished. It is difficult to see things from any other perspective, because I've never been on any other side. I would bore with him quickly, and look elsewhere for what I really wanted. My fear lies in what I do not know, and have no true way to understand.
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2 comments:
That is one very well put together blog, however the primary flaw in it is that you feel that a Dominant will eventually grow tired of a submissive. All that 'yes, sir' 'no, sir' business, complete compliance, perfect willingness to do what is asked of you is part of why your Dominant is so madly in love with you. Do not believe for one minute that you are not a challenge to Him. You are *very* strong willed and headstrong about a lot of things. As far as your worry that He will grow tired of your complying with His every need/whim, it's rather unfounded. I'm certain that He loves you unconditionally and expects that relationships/people change over the course of time and He knows that if any relationship, D/s or vanilla, must evolve to keep from stagnating and growing boring. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself, wonder what He sees in you, or feel inadequate...just remember that He loves you with every fiber of his being and cannot imagine life without you there by His side. Try to see yourself as He does. Spend time in front of a mirror and look at yourself the way He would. Examine your inner self, the quirks of your personality, the defiant streak that is ingrained into your behavior. Remember the way your body seems to mold to His in just the right ways, how 'right' it feels to be held in His embrace. He loves you and would die without you.
This is a very interesting and helpful blog as I can relate to the insecurities youahve highlighted and managed to make sense of some of my confusions.
All the best
x
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